Taking risks and being selfish

// a retrospective before the beginning

read 2 min (447 words) / write Jan 2, 2016

Five weeks ago, I was reeling over the idea of telling my boss that I’d be leaving the company in the new year. All I could think of was how painful that experience would be, but then I remembered this little nugget: I am the sole agent when it comes to determining my path and my decisions are external to anyone else’s expectations. Easier said than done?

Somewhere along the way I lost sight of this notion. Even when I had the bravado to think so much of myself in high school I don’t think I really had the words for it then. But I do now and this newfound self-awareness is what’s going to turn attitude into aptitude. Gosh, this is getting cheesy.

Allow me to pull you over to the side: When talking about finding the guts to start his restaurant empire, Momofuku’s David Chang attributed it to a “healthy dose of naiveté and… being young enough to be selfish and realize that if everything failed [he] would still be 27 years old and [his] whole life ahead of [him].”

Romantic. Stupid. Call it what you will. I’m going to grab this one by the horns and give it a go.

Hack Reactor, Day 1 will be around the corner in just nine days. The whole idea of it is a tremendous risk. I emptied my entire savings for this opportunity. I find myself still trying to line up all my little eggs, constantly amending my budget and figuring out how I’m going to keep up my daily routine. I guess at the end of the day, the best thing I can do for myself is come in strong, fully confident, full speed ahead.

Who knows what will come of this or where I’ll be in three months… but then there it is: it’s only three months. That’s less time than any of those grueling college semesters I spent not really knowing what or why I was studying. I’m in a position I carefully set myself up for two years ago so the real question is, how much confidence can I place in my preemptive calculation? I’m taking all possibilities of failure into consideration but I’m also nowhere near backing out any time soon.

So here’s to one last sprint before my life takes a drastic turn and I can really start feeling like the adult I am. Lol. Hey, no flack okay? I make adult decisions now and can hold my adult liquor too. That counts. Sometimes, it’s precisely this sort of courage (liquid or otherwise) that you need to make it out there. Take the risk and be a little selfish.